A Field Guide to Shame is about observing the dark underbelly that exists within all of us but is rarely talked about. ‘Shame’ is an emotion characterized by a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrongdoing. It may cause someone to feel small and worthless, and it almost always has something to do with pre-existing societal implications.
I wanted to uncover something that related to the lives around me and bring it to life. I want to know what people have going on inside of them that isn’t always visible. In order to learn more about those around me, I decided to put up forms around the San Diego State University campus. The forms have a QR code that students can scan and then answer my question at their will, anonymously. It asked, “What are you ashamed of?” and I shortly collected over 50 responses.
I didn’t think about what type of responses I’d be getting back from my neighbors and classmates but they were very insightful and worthwhile. Some of the confessions were very relatable and similar to one another. Others were long and heart-wrenching to hear. I’m glad that I didn’t conduct this research on social media. If I were to post this on a social platform, only my followers would respond. The demographic would already be specific because the forms are only accessible if you are on the SDSU campus. But the deeper demographic this poster attracted has got to be unique because those who responded did so willingly without knowing anything about me or my project. There was nothing in it for them, besides revealing a distasteful part of themselves.
I communicated the act of divulging by creating a visual and auditory piece that feels private, intimate, and spiritual. I created my own spin on a confession booth by involving certain visual cues that reminded me of my experience confessing in the church. Like candles, darkness, echo, and a mesh box. A box covered in black velvet cloth hangs on the wall and a rectangular cut-out in it is covered by transparent black mesh. Inside the black velvet box, there is a mirror where one may see themselves and relate to others’ confessions, shame, and humanity. A Bluetooth speaker also hides in the interior of the box, playing the voices of all of the different confessions I received. On the floor, directly under the box, there are 100 white candles aligned in a pattern, tying together simple symbols that remind me of my Catholic upbringing and the act of confessing.
Originally I wanted to create a booth that students could walk into, sit in, and listen to the confessions in a space where they feel isolated. Just like one does in an actual confession booth. I wasn’t able to achieve that idea because I didn’t have the right resources or time to complete it, but I’m still very happy about how my piece turned out. There weren’t many changes I implemented while making my project besides simplifying the physical piece altogether. To me, the heart of the piece is the collectivist nature of gathering personal responses that were submitted anonymously by those around me.
Final Project: